Blog #14 – A Saturday on an emotional rollercoaster.

By Brenna Cohoon

Saturday was a big day for my team and me.  Things got started for me with the Foot Locker Midwest Regional race in Kenosha, Wisconsin. 

I made the trip to Kenosha with my parents early Friday afternoon where we met up with my teammate Melissa Weidner and her father to run through the course together.  We were excited, as it was our first time seeing the UW Parkside XC Course in person.  Through watching videos, looking at maps, and listening to advice, we knew about the hilly first 800 meters and everything that followed.  Before we arrived, we heard the course would be a little sloppy, but being there and seeing it for ourselves was a whole different story. 

We spent our time strategizing to find the best side of the path to run on in each section of the course.  By the time we were done, our shoes and leggings were completely coated in mud, and I almost wiped out on a couple of occasions.  We knew that the following day would definitely be a race for place, not time, but both of us looked forward to the challenge of competing in these adverse conditions.

The remainder of Friday was spent by fueling up for the big day, resting, and recovering.  I spent some time with Melissa where we shared a few laughs before heading to bed.  I got a good night’s sleep and followed it up with eating my typical breakfast: a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter.  Shortly afterwards, we headed to back to the course, so I could get settled.  I met up again with Melissa, as well as another one of our teammates, Allison Calek.  We warmed up together and lined up at the starting line with one of our friends, Abby Lopez from Argo, for a race that could potentially be our last of the season.

The gun went off a little sooner than expected, but we were ready.  The race went out fast, and a little over half of a mile in, I was in the top ten.  I was excited, since my goal was to qualify for Foot Locker Nationals in San Diego  but knew that I would have to hold my ground.  I fell back as the race continued but came back in the last mile to finish 15th overall.  I was proud of myself, but not completely satisfied.  As I headed home, I looked forward to giving Foot Locker another try next year, but mostly focused on the team gathering that would take place later that night where we would hear the news about qualifying for NXN, good or bad.  During the past two weeks, we prepared ourselves for both scenarios:  1) celebrate the incredible news that we were selected as one of the at-large teams; 2) support each other after hearing we wouldn’t have one more race, after all.

The night dragged on.  I was on edge the entire time the NXN committee was discussing.  We tried to occupy ourselves and keep each other entertained, but my mind kept wandering.  We thought that we would hear the news by 9:00 p.m. CST, but that time came, and we still hadn’t heard anything.  I got more and more nervous.  I knew that there was nothing I could do to control the situation or ultimate decision but couldn’t help those feelings of anxiety while waiting.  10:00 p.m. came and we still didn’t know if we had qualified.  Shortly after, though, the news was broken to us… we had not been selected as one of those four at-large teams to go to Portland.

We were all in shock at first.  Our mindsets had been so positive while we were waiting over these past two weeks, and we trained with the strong desire to race and prove ourselves on the national level.  We were confident in our resume and in the success of our entire season.  Then, the tears began to fall.  We had all dreamed of traveling to Portland together and taking in the entire experience with each other, our best friends.  We wanted so badly to turn that dream into our reality and had come so very close to it.

I went home Saturday night and sobbed into my pillow before falling asleep.  It sounds dramatic, but that was genuinely one of the worst days of my life.  I went from having fun racing in Wisconsin and being pleased with my performance to feeling completely helpless.  I didn’t know what more our team could have done to earn ourselves an at-large bid.  We were proud of our accolades from this season which were earned through so much dedication.  Those early morning workouts beginning all the way in June that continued through the afternoons of mid-November seemed completely insignificant for a moment. 

Sunday morning, I woke up confused at what had transpired the night before, hoping for a moment that it was just an awful nightmare.

That wasn’t the case.  However, I have accepted the decision that had been made by the committee.  Of course, it was not the outcome I wanted nor expected.  I understand how competitive this entire nation is and know we were fortunate to be considered among the teams that were ultimately selected.

It is so easy to hang our heads and leave everything at that.  We have to focus on the positives of our season, though, and realize that everything happens for a reason.  I truly believe that, even though I am currently still trying to find out what this particular meaning is.  Maybe it’s a life lesson that many things don’t go as expected.  Perhaps it’s a testimony to the strength of the bond held between my teammates.  It could even be representing the support of the running community and those showing respect for our team.  Whatever it may be, there is some greater meaning out there that is waiting to be revealed when the time is right.

This story was not intended to gain sympathy from others - I simply wanted to share my accounts of this whole experience as honestly as possible.  Running is such a real, raw sport, and it is only fair for me to keep my writing the same.  I believe that we all experience setbacks and disappointments similar to this one as a way to keep us grounded and motivate us to try even harder in the future.  In the end, we only get stronger from times like these.

I have been repeatedly hearing and saying the phrase “The best is yet to come” lately, and I am at a point where I really believe it.  Saturday night, I could not even fathom the possibility of there being anything better than us going to Portland to compete at NXN.  Although I may not know what exactly is coming our way, I have faith in the future.

There are not enough thanks in this world to express my gratitude for everyone’s support during this disappointing time.  The outpouring of positivity towards our team that I have seen across all social media platforms has warmed my heart, and I know it is appreciated by everyone on the Downers Grove South girls cross country team.  This kind of support has come from everywhere within the running community, not just locally or in Illinois, but the entire country.  For all of that, I am extremely thankful.